From: Rita 

                               THE DATING GAME
    For  thousands of years, men have tried to understand  the  rules
    when  dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide  will
    help you to understand just how it works.

    Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies:
    Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.
    Do  something she dislikes and points are subtracted.  You  don't
    get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the
    way the game is played.

    Here is a guide to the points system:

    AT THE PARTY
    You stay by her side the entire party.....0
    You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat
    with a College drinking buddy.....-2
    Named Tiffany.....-4
    Tiffany is a dancer.....-10
    With breast implants.....-18

    HER BIRTHDAY
    You remember her birthday.....0
    You buy a card and flowers.....0
    You take her out to dinner.....0
    You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar.....+1
    Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2
    And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3
    It's  a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your  face  is
    painted the colors of your favorite team ...-10

    A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
    Go with a pal.....0
    The pal is happily married.....+1
    The pal is single.....-7
    He drives a Ferrari.....-10
    With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15

    A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
    You take her to a movie.....+2
    You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
    You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
    You take her to a movie you like.....-2
    It's called Death Cop III.....-3
    Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.....-9
    You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15

    YOUR PHYSIQUE
    You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15
    You  develop  a  noticeable pot belly & exercise to  get  rid  of
    it.....+10
    You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans  and
    baggy Hawaiian shirts.....-30
    You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".....-800

    THE BIG QUESTION
    She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
    You hesitate in responding.....-10
    You reply, "Where?".....-35
    You reply, "No, I think it's your ass".....-100
    Any other response.....-20

    COMMUNICATION
    When she wants to talk about a problem:
    You listen, displaying a concerned expression.....0
    You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5
    You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50
    You're  mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear  her  saying
    "well, what do you think I should do?".....-100
    You have fallen asleep.....-200

    ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
    You talk.....-100
    You don't talk.....-150
    You spend time with her......-200
    You don't spend time with her.....-500
    You seem to be enjoying yourself.....-1000

    GAME OVER - YOU LOSE!!!

-If you win:

    SIMPLE DUTIES
    You make the bed.....+1
    You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.....0
    You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
    You leave the toilet seat up.....-5
    You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.....0
    When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.....-1
    When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.... -2
    You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5
    In the snow.....+8
    But return with beer.....-5
    And no liners.....-25
    You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0
    You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0
    You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5
    You pummel it with a six iron.....+10
    It's her cat.....-40

LOSER!