From: MillieMouse

            CELEBRITY COMPUTER VIRUSES

Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer.

Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, 
and then slowly expands to 300MB.

Britney Spears virus: Your two 3.5 inch floppies turn into 36D floppies.

Lorena Bobbit virus: Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.

Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus: Searches your hard drive for old files 
and deletes them.

Ellen Degeneres virus (AKA the Rosie virus): Your IBM suddenly claims 
it's a MAC.

Titanic virus: Makes your computer go down.

Disney virus: Everything in the computer goes Goofy.

Prozac virus: Increases your RAM but your processor crashes.

Sharon Stone virus: Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there.

Tim Allen virus: Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact.

HBO virus: Runs the same programs over and over, week after week after week.

Woody Allen virus: Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.

NFL Blackout virus: Will only let you run progams on a remote terminal 
that's more than 75 miles away.

Linda Tripp virus: Makes copies of your personal files and forwards them 
to the authorities.

Al Gore virus: Runs quietly in background mode but doesn't appear to 
really do much of anything.

Dick Vitale virus: Makes your computer very loud and obnoxious, detracting 
from the program you're actually trying to view.

Tonya Harding virus: Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons.

Joey Buttafuoco virus: Only attacks minor files.

Jerry Seinfeld virus: Program about nothing that exits when you're really 
enjoying it.

Pee Wee Herman virus: Exposes your confidential files to everyone.

AT&T virus: Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.