SIGNS THAT MEAN BUSINESS

        Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
        "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
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        In a Podiatrist's office:
        "Time wounds all heels."
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        On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon :
        Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
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        On another Septic Tank Truck:
        "We're #1 in the #2 business"
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        At a Proctologist's door:
        "To expedite your visit please back in."
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        On a Plumber's truck:
        "We repair what your husband fixed"
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        On another Plumber's truck:
        "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
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        At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
        "Invite us to your next blowout."
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        At a Towing company:
        "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
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        On an Electrician's truck:
        " Let us remove your shorts."
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        In a Nonsmoking Area:
        "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take
        appropriate action."
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        On a Maternity Room door:
        "Push. Push. Push."
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        At an Optometrist's Office :
        "If you don't see what you're looking for, you' ve come to
        the right place."
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        On a Taxidermist's window:
        "We really know our stuff."
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        On a Fence:
        "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
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        At a Car Dealership:
        "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
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        Outside a Muffler Shop:
        "No appointment necessary We hear you coming."
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        In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit!
        Stay!"
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        At the Electric Company :
        "We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
        However, if you don't, you will be."
        **************************

        In a Restaurant window :
        "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
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        In the front yard of a Funeral Home :
        "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
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        At a Propane Filling Station ,
        "Thank heaven for little grills."
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        And don't forget the sign at a ChicagoRadiator Shop:
        "Best place in town to take a leak
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